India March 2000
Jamnagar, India
March 2000
Holy Cow Batman!
Greetings from India, or, Mooooooo!
I actually blurted out "Holy cow!" As a result of something extremely unusual I saw last week. Every Hindu stopped and starred at me. I'm not sure if in Hindu this statement is the equivalent of taking a god's name in vane, a blessing, a prayer or a curse, but judging from their reaction, it was one of the above. I didn't mean an expletive; I just watched too much Batman as a kid.
Well, I have been to Dwarka and Bot Dwarka to a temple of the Hindu religion. Legends told of a temple in the location of Bot Dwarka for several hundred years that was swallowed by the sea. According to the information provided by the Hindus in our group, the temple was found a short time ago in the sea. However, the amazing thing was that when we arrived the temple was on top of a hill and never saw a day under the sea. Apparently the brochures were confused regarding facts. Of course, how many goobers would drive 5 hours one way, ride in a ferry that could use the bilge pump for propulsion to see a concrete block building dedicated to Krishna, the hairy god of airports?
I just learned that the Hindus have 360 million (that's MILLION) gods! And, this is up from the 330 million gods they had when the Tour Guide of India was published a year ago. How would one determine they have a god at the top of the "god food chain" and not the bottom? When they say "Dear God" are they actually saying "deer god" as opposed to the sheep god, the camel god, the fence-post god or the dung beetle god?
It is amazing to walk the streets and have a cow, hog or goat walk up to you and look you in the eye like they knew you from before. Some of the cows eyed me very suspiciously and in a previous life I think they may have participated in what I called bovine surfing as a kid. Bovine surfing is when you sneak up behind a cow and grab his tail. Provided he doesn't kick you into next week, it can be quite a ride for as long as you can hang on. I seriously considered grabbing a cow tail, but figured the masses would either attack me or make me their 360,000,001st god. And I didn't care for either option.
Things have been rough over here, and I'm not referring to the Turkish style toilets with no paper. Although if you think it's a picnic trying to use a hole in the floor with no mesquite tree to steady yourself and nothing to...wrap up with, you've got more cud than you can chew. The roads are a lot like the Amish country in the US. Everything goes down the highway here including wagons pulled by camels or water buffaloes. This slow-moving group along with bicycles, pedestrians, motorcycles with more than six riders (not kidding) motor-tricycles with more than 20 riders (still not kidding) fall in the category referred to as "victims". The second group of vehicles including trucks, tractors, and buses are referred to as "predators". Cars are in between and generally ineffective. Most cars can go from zero to 60 in a few hours provided there is a downhill run at some point. A steep downhill run. When they pass, acceleration is not noticeable. Neither is an open passing lane. Most cars I've been in screech back in the correct lane just in time. Actually, the car is barely moving and I'm doing most of the screeching.
I was reviewing truck dispatch at the refinery and had people keep referring to trains. I kept telling them I would look at trains later, and would then ask a question regarding a truck. They'd begin by telling me about the trains. Finally I figured out that a truck with a trailer is referred to a train. When I started reviewing the rail dispatch and asked about trains, all answers referred to wagons. These guys speak English but I really need to locate the code book.
Hope to be paroled soon.
-Keith