Argentina 2005
Buenos Aires, Argentina
December 2005
Don't Cry for Me Argentina...
Bueno Nachos from Argentina!
I am in Buenos Aires (Spanish for “Good Air”), the fourth largest city in the world per the local publicity. Just like the name suggests, the air is usually clear here. Most large cities are covered by a blanket of pollution. Here, however, the leftist government banned all pollution across the bay into Uruguay. Also, traffic flows entirely too fast for a big city. The traffic lights are timed so if you are traveling in a straight line through downtown, you can average about 50 mph without slowing or stopping. We really need these traffic timers in Houston. The faster traffic leads to a lot of pedestrian/car collisions. The pedestrians rarely win these match-ups. One of our employees was run down by a car in front of the office. When he regained consciousness in the hospital, there was priest sitting next to his bed. He panicked, thinking he was being given last rites. The priest, however, was there because he was the driver of the car that ran our guy down! When the priests run you down for jay-walking, that’s tough traffic!
Argentina is a popular destination for political refuges that have been ousted as a result of an armed conflict. The best known group is the Germans that fled here and started successful businesses after both WWI and WWII. Our office is actually in the building and leasing space from a shipping company started after WWI by a former German Admiral. One lesser known group that fled here and sticks to their lands in the interior of the country are the descendents of Confederate States of America. During reconstruction following the American Civil War, several hundred families picked up and relocated to Argentina, where they keep to themselves and keep the southern traditions alive. The government has tried to no avail to persuade them to get the junk cars off the concrete blocks and out of the front yards.
Argentina is a very diverse country, running from temperate zones in the north to within a few hundred miles of Antarctica in the south. The island province in the south, Terra del Fuego, translates to the “land of fire.” This is named by sailors rounding the tip of South American who spotted the huge bonfires the shepherds keep burning to keep themselves and their sheep alive. What the sailors didn’t realize is that these fires were actually signal fires from desperate people who had shipwrecked generations before and kept lighting signal fires trying to get a ride north where they wouldn’t freeze to death. While the shepherds are on shore igniting everything flammable trying to get one of the passing ships to land, the sailors are saluting the resilience of the people hearty enough to continue to endure the extreme cold of the south tip. Penguins reside year-round in Terra del Fuego, the only non-Antarctica location in the world with indigenous penguins. The north plains of the country are ranched by Argentinean cowboys, known as gauchos. Their leader, Gaucho Marx, is depicted as having a huge fake black mustache, large black glasses and an outlandish sense of humor. Last night, to experience the culture of Argentina, I ordered llama for dinner at a gaucho restaurant. I don’t know if the Llama tasted funny or if it was my conscience silently accusing me of eating someone’s pet, but next time I’ll stick to the next item on the menu, iguana.
The police here ride four-wheel ATVs. Talk about a Southerner’s dream job – not only do you get paid to carry a gun, but you also get to drive a 4-wheeler all day. I picked up an application, but I’m struggling with the Spanish instructions.
Three of the ten workdays in the office have had picketerros pounding on drums or shooting off fireworks. Picketerros are the professional protestors that show up nearly every day at one government office or another to protest something. Although I am on the 20th floor and at least 3 blocks from the closest government office, I have found it difficult to work with the constant drum beating and popping of bottle rockets they use to announce their presence at some Argentina ministry. Without any warning or announcement, they set off a huge firecracker about 40 feet from me two days ago that sounded like a howitzer while I was in an open shopping mall. I think they were in cahoots with the underwear shop to boost sales.
(The next observation may need to be screened from some readers.) There is a giant obelisk memorial in the heart of town. An obelisk is a structure, originally from ancient Egypt, that is a tower shaped like the Washington Monument in DC. The weekend I arrived was World Aids Awareness Day and, to mark the day, there was a giant condom over the Obelisk. You can perform a search on Yahoo news if you’d like to see the picture. Then, on December 8 Argentina had a national holiday, called The Day of the Virgin, to honor Mary. The Catholic Church here was very upset with the leftist government’s choice of decorations for the Obelisk. Talk about extremes in the same week!
And finally, in the local news the big story today is that Pavarotti will be arriving this weekend. I hate those creeps that sneak around trying to take off-color pictures of celebrities.
¡Feliz Navidad!
Senor Keith