Christmas 2020 and 2021 - Read Both Poems Below!

Christmas 2020 (Remember COVID?)

Dear Santa,

For this year I have to ask,

That when you drop in, please wear a mask!

And I hope the elves, those noble assistants,

Are working hard, but with social distance! 

For the holidays serve to enlighten and inspire us,

But it’s kinda hard with that dang virus!

Before you arrive, please check your temperature,

And fill out our app, complete with signature.

Now on to my list of my wants and needs:

(This is in reward for all my good deeds!)

This year, I’m all the wiser:

Instead of toys, I want sanitizer!

And instead of a book or movie caper,

I’d like disinfectant and toilet paper!

No more candy or peppermint for me!

(Jumping Jingle Bells!! I can’t taste them now, you see!!)

I realize this might be shocking,

But I’d like Clorox Wipes piled in my stocking.

We didn’t leave you milk and cookies this year

Baking goods were gone from the store, I fear.

So Merry Christmas to you while the halls we deck:

And watch the mail…where’s my stimulus check?

______________________________________________________

Twas The Night Before Christmas, 2021

Twas the night before Christmas, long before dawn,

All were restless, with dreams about Omicron. 

I see a sleigh appear with a jump and a skip,

It seems in need of a short-supply chip!

But the deer out in front…only six could be seen?

Comet and Cupid wouldn’t get a vaccine!

And Rudolph!  His nose is no longer bright,

It got knocked out in a mask-mandate fight!

Santa’s bag of goodies is small, but that’s a no-brainer,

All of the toys are stuck on a ship, in a container!

And there weren’t enough elves to build and design,

Santa’s had up for months, a “Help Wanted” sign!

Instead of gifts, I saw something new,

By the tree, Santa placed an IOU!

As he turned, he spotted me, standing expectant,

Then he sprayed in my face, Lysol disinfectant.

“On Phizer, Moderna, Johnson, you vaccine producers!

To all, I wish shots one, two, and the boosters!”

Santa was then off with a loud roar in the dark -

His catalytic converter had been stolen while parked!

Merry Christmas!

-Keith